Monday, March 22, 2010

The power of the words: "I LOVE YOU!"

I know it's been awhile but there really hasn't been much change. We are still waiting for the approval of our Home Study. There have been a few minor setbacks that we had to take care of and then we wait again. Right now our wait is on the states of IN & KS. We are waiting for their Child Abuse & Neglect Clearances to come in. You see we have to have this for every state we have lived in since 18. Praise the Lord it's just been 3 states. Anyway, it's government and they have no idea that we are waiting for the HS to be approved so that we can apply for grants. Oh well, it will happen in time.

We continue to write to Meggie everyday with email. She still asks for posts (snail mail). It just takes so long and I'm so bad about getting it out to her. Anyway, we had a few days where she didn't go online and we didn't hear from her. Then she sent an email asking why we didn't tell her that we wanted to adopt her while she was here. Very good question. As part of the hosting program she was a part of, we were required to keep our intentions unknown to the child until after they returned to their home country. Why? Well, there have been several families that told the child and then something came up (ie. losing a job, getting pregnant, no money) and they later backed out, leaving a child heart broken & confused and an orphanage/foster home staff having to tell the child. The children believe they are on a "vacation". It's all fine until you know with all your heart that this is your child and want to scream it from the roof tops. While Meggie was here she asked me if we were going to be her new Mommy & Daddy and I had to say "I don't know" and then change the subject. So I wrote her telling her that we knew before Christmas that we wanted her, that she was special and loved. We told her that we wanted to shout "YES!" when she asked but couldn't. We had to follow the rules even thought we didn't want to.

She wrote back "Thank you for telling me. I Love You!"

I was super excited and even cried. I want to believe that she said that just like when Keegan, Micah and Ethan said "I love you" for the first time, when they were infants. But a child that has been through so much and has had few examples of love, may not truly understand the power of those words. Every letter I write tells her that no matter how confused, angry or sad she may feel... I will want and love her. The last several letters I have closed the letter with: Love from your mommy from America. She wrote back the other day "Love, Your Meggie"! It's amazing to see how even through email we can connect and break down some of the barriers of language and hurt.

I love Meggie with all of my heart, just like I love Keegan, Micah and Ethan. She is engraved on my heart just as they are. I can't imagine my life without her. She has affected our entire family and we all long for the day when we can hold her in our arms and tell her that we love her. I dream of the day she will call me "mommy" and tell me how much she loves me but I know it will take time and I am willing to give that to her.

***Fundraising note: We are at the end of our 1st of many fundraisers. We sold coupons for Antiquities Portraits and will know our total raised as of Saturday. We are also doing two Pancake Breakfasts (April 3rd & May 8th), as well as two garage sales. We are applying to 17 adoption grants, only 3 of them can we do at this time (or when the home study is done) because deadlines have passed for the others but we will send it in on the next deadline. It's been fun to watch God at work. Just this last weekend I saw God's hand all over the place. He's so obvious if we just take the time to look.

Well, I wrote more than I planned. Thank you for following along our journey. Thank you for your prayers, financial help and encouragement. May God bless!

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